Elizabeth is faced with confusion, as she lies awake in her twin size bed at two A.M. As the minutes tick by she becomes more and more puzzled, everyone wants so much from her, decisions she can never make.
A replay of the day’s events are on repeat in her mind. She thinks back to only a few hours earlier, she is sitting in the worn out passenger seat of her friend Jon’s 1996 maroon Nissan. Uncertainty hangs in the air, and Elizabeth twists her hands in her lap, she heard him ask her to make a decision. What should she do? The question stands like a wall between them, she doesn’t know what to do. “I want to be with you, but you can’t have both of us” she hears him say.
She doesn’t know, she looks at his wondering eyes, filled with sadness, she knows what he wants her to say; instead she leans forward and gives him a long hug. Elizabeth blinks away a tear, she doesn’t want to let go. This will be the hardest decision she will ever have to make, and she knows it.
She steps out of the car slowly and walks into her house, when she receives a text message from him. “What do you want?” She heaves a deep sigh and looks at the ground. What a good question.
Three hours later, Elizabeth is still lying in bed, with her covers pulled up to her chin, until finally she can’t take it anymore. She creeps slowly out of bed and down the hallway. She stands for a moment at the top of the stairs before making her way to the kitchen. She grabs a cup and makes herself coffee.
Elizabeth’s sister Marie comes down the stairs and looks into her kitchen, and gives Elizabeth a hug. “What’s wrong?” Elizabeth looks at Marie with tired eyes and says that she is thinking about breaking up with her boyfriend. Marie’s eyes open wide in shock and she questions why. Elizabeth announces that she realized that what she feels for one man could never amount to the way she feels for another. Her boyfriend does not make her feel like she imagined she should in a new relationship. It is comfort, nothing more. She says she loves him, but she knows she doesn’t mean it.
The longer she talks, the more she begins to acknowledge that what she has in her life isn’t what she wants. Something is missing in her relationship, and whether or not it would work out with Jon doesn’t matter, she doesn’t want to lie to herself anymore.
She looks at her sister and says “I know what I want.”
Elizabeth looks down at her cell phone where an unread text from Jon is waiting for her response. She opens up a new message to him and sends him a short text message. Marie asks her what she said to him. Elizabeth looks at her sister for a moment before responding, it seems as though she is thinking hard about what she wants to say. “I told him I want to talk to him tomorrow.”
Elizabeth smiles to herself as she looks out the window to see the sun coming up over the trees. She is tired and hasn’t slept all night, but finally she knows the answer to the question that has been running around in her mind all night long. What does she want?
Tomorrow will be the day, she will tell Jon she wants to be with him, and she will never look back.